Another Miracle Diet! Who Cares?

Just how hard is it to lose weight after the age of fifty? Really hard. The magazines in my online account are all blasting the same message right now - how to lose weight quick and get in shape for that beach body we are all looking for this summer. Low carb, Paleo, vegan,  liquid meal replacements, low calorie, no white food, "clean" food. It's a steady stream of what and what not to put in our mouths to get the desired result which is less fat on our bodies.  At my age it seems that you have to run harder just to stay in the same place with things like weight control and fitness. Results are hard to come by due to changing hormone levels and slower metabolisms.  My husband is a huge believer in the low carb diet and it has worked very well for him in the past but lately the results are not as impressive. I favour the low calorie, high fibre kind of diet. Again, results are not as impressive as they once were. What to do now?

I can barely remember a time when I was not concerned with my weight. That is a sad thought but true.  I was my mother's plumpest baby, with adorable, squeezable, chubby legs and arms. I grew into a normal sized child until about ten years old when the chubby reappeared. I preferred reading over running and loved potato chips and cookies so the weight stuck around. I wouldn't have made it onto the Maury Povich Show as a freakishly obese child but I did get some teasing and knew that I was not like my skinny sisters who bookended me in the family. Puberty struck and with it a huge surge in height which achieved a much desired result- I slimmed down. That stage was short lived. After high school, began a forty year period of ups and downs in my weight which continues till today.  The fat ever so slowly creeps onto my body and once I awaken to its stealth attack I ever so slowly wrestle it off. It is a slow motion battle between exhausted adversaries who will not give up the fight. No magic diets, no fast and amazing weight drops. Just a grind.

When I was chasing after my own two small children every day I could eat what I wanted and not gain weight, but otherwise I have pretty much mentally tallied every calorie that has gone in my mouth as an adult. That is a tiresome job, people.  A good friend and I have a deep bond over this issue as she, too has "dieted" most of her life.  We are living calorie counters, no app required.  The good news for us is that almost all of our slimmer peers have gone on to gain as much or more weight than we have. Age - its a great leveller. The pretty grow plain, the slim get heavy.

So now instead of being the "big girl" as I felt I was in the skinny era of the seventies, I sit in the middle of the pack even though I am over twenty pounds heavier then when I was in my twenties. My two sisters have suffered a similar fate and I'm betting it's even harder for them to deal with as their inner vision of themselves is probably much slimmer than mine is of me. Once chubby you are always chubby in your head. I can feel you "inner fatties" nodding. I understand.

Me at 18 years old,
Oh, to be so "big" again!

Weight loss is not out of my reach, its just an equation, calories in, calories burned. Simple. But here's where I see the real change for those of us over fifty, beyond metabolic rates and loss of muscle...we just don't care as much.  The media finally has less effect on us and our self worth as determined by our thigh gap (I've never had one - see picture). We want to enjoy life and what we have worked hard for and sometimes that includes a piece of chocolate, an extra glass of wine or some of the demon white flour in the form of pasta or a baguette. No young man with the body of a Greek god is breaking down my door, promising me love if I would just lose those extra ten pounds and then we could run away and make the world envious with our physical beauty. No, that is not happening. I am invisible to young Greek gods now but I am healthy, reasonably fit, not on any medications.  That is what I care about now.

I just read an article in Prevention Magazine about health and fitness expectations for every decade in a woman's life. After sixty, it said, don't worry about those few extra pounds. They are needed to protect you if you fall (padding!) and will come in handy if you get seriously ill. Now that is the best news I've read all year. I will no longer consider myself overweight but rather I am in self protection mode.

No Resolution To Be Had

I don't make New Years resolutions, never have. This is the time of year when I am at my physical, mental and emotional low. Not a good time to decide to give up something that's bad for me or take up something physically strenuous or mentally demanding. Those things are all pretty much guaranteed to fail. The middle of winter is a time of retreat, hibernation, conserving what is left of my energies to get me through to spring time. My cravings for carbs, caffeine, sugar and alcohol are at an all time high, slaked somewhat by the overindulgence of the Christmas season but certainly not ready to be denied. I cannot imagine getting through the month of February without my crutches.

Caffeine and carbs, baby!

Now, don't imagine me sitting at home slurping B52 coffees for breakfast with my hand in the cookie jar. I have some control.  For better or for worse I don't do anything to excess. I hate hangovers, gaining weight and pimples so while I give in to my cravings I do so within moderation.  When it's summer and I'm feeling my best I can say no to the after dinner piece of chocolate, the second or third glass of wine, the cookie with my tea. It's summer!  The sun is shining, the days are long, dinner is on the BBQ. It's all good.  But winter....
A friend just told me she was giving up alcohol for the month of January. I applaud that decision and support her totally in it.  Good for her, I hope she does what she has resolved to do. It would be an excellent choice for me as well but it ain't going to happen. The best I will do is to maintain what I already have going on. Go to yoga, walk in between rain and snow storms, have a couple of drinks when I want, eat a cookie with my afternoon tea, order good pasta when out in a restaurant and try not to buy too many chocolate bars.

Winter survival food

 I am actually very tough with myself given the size of my cravings and the tiny rewards I indulge in. If I gave in willy-nilly to what I wanted I would be twenty to thirty pounds heavier for a start and probably not be seen out of bed before noon.  I have never eaten a whole box of cookies or an entire pint of ice cream in a sitting. Just not in my nature. But I did once pull a half-eaten chocolate Easter rabbit out of the garbage where I had thrown it in a fit of self disgust and polish it off. Yeah, I know, right? We all have our dirty little secrets.
So because I can maintain a modicum of self control, even over the holidays, I don't feel the urge to punish myself with New Years resolutions. I get annoyed with the newbies that pack my yoga classes with their desire for a "new them" but I know they will soon be gone. That's the problem with these resolutions, it's just the wrong time of the year to try and start this kind of stuff. And people try to correct so many bad behaviours at once, quitting smoking AND going on a diet...madness. Or they set the bar so high for fitness goals. Workouts five days a weeks, train for a marathon. In the middle of winter? Seriously? Doomed to failure.
September is another time when many people start a new regime of some kind. The "back to school" effect. Summer holidays are over, time now to buckle down. It all seems well and good and achievable in September but as the days get shorter, the temperatures cooler and the rains set in it gets tougher to change our behaviour. I'm not saying give up on change, not at all, but pick your times, people! I think the Spring equinox is an excellent time for resolutions. It is the time for the rebirth of the earth, why not time our rebirth to that as well? The days are getting longer and warmer, everything feels more hopeful and enjoyable. That is the time to cut back the calories or the cigarettes, start that running programme, take a night school class.  It might actually be achievable! I started this blog in May, a coincidence?  I don't think so. By March I was coming out of my winter stupor, shaking off the sluggishness of the season and looking for something to change my ways.
I am not a winter person, I hate the cold, I don't ski, so snow doesn't thrill me and I suffer from mild depression due to lack of sunlight, so obviously January 1st is not going to be the time that I reach any epiphanies about changing my behaviour. It just has to wait until spring.  That gives me almost three months to roll some options over in my mind, give them a good perusal, consider if they are even remotely achievable or desirable and then work up a plan. By mid-March I am ready to commit to a change and when I do finally commit I have pretty good follow up. There is a good chance I will achieve my goal. So by all means start that big change in your behaviour in January, I will sit on the sidelines, glass of wine in hand, chocolate at the ready and cheer you on but when March 20th rolls around let's have a sit down and discuss how well you met your goals and then we can make an Equinox resolution together. I'll be ready then.